Not quite sure how to start this.  I want to talk about resonation of frequencies, but in terms of literally feeling on the same wavelength as someone else.  Now, if you have ADHD, then using your intuition and being able to read the room will most likely be one of your strengths.  It is for me.  But I recently had a bit of a crisis, where I found a male person that resonated so strongly on the same frequency, I was willing to wreck my marriage in pursuit of more of that feeling!

I am a Christian, so you may well judge me and ask where my faith principles disappeared to.  Well! When it comes to a dopamine deficit, and living my whole life under some unknown mask.  After feeling the liberation of removing that mask and finally getting to the point of not only a deeper understanding of my limitations, but also, accepting them! I think I just get far too excited when I find my ADHD people that I really resonate with.

Time to dust off the blog! Nearly a whole year since I published a blog.  Let's just say, a lot has happened in the last year.  Which I'm hoping to get round to writing about, especially in terms of my neurodivergent journey.  But, as a late identified, self diagnosed adult with ADHD, I think you know what the outcome will be! Cue hilarious giggles...

I wanted to start off with the question 'is blogging dead?'.  In the time between my last published blog, back when I was still working at my local Museums in Southend (alas, that job is no more), and this blog now, I have seriously contemplated whether to just get rid of this thing! I do have a Google Adsense account, but it literally pays £0.01p, maybe every few months! I recently checked my Domain Authority and it's so low, 7! Ideally I'd want it to be at least in the 20s if I had any hope of getting picked for blogging campaigns! So in terms of financial, it doesn't make me any money and where I've neglected it, it doesn't have a decent internet presence in terms of being 'seen'.  (I don't think having a website host particularly helps either but I absolutely do not have the time to start learning code and build my own website!).

So 'why am I still bothering with it?', I hear you ask! Well, the blog has always remained as a creative outlet for me.  To share my deep thoughts and latest connections.  I don't want to lose that.  In this last year, trying to find a way back to myself with all the upheaval of the ADHD acceptance, I feel like coming back to my writing is another way of rediscovering myself.  I feel like I lost a lot of things in just trying to survive as a neurodivergent in a neurotypical world.  That I lost a lot of my creative endeavours.

 A good few weeks ago now, we had 'Meet the Artists' happening at The Beecroft Art Gallery, in my local town of Southend-on-Sea. I often pinch myself with my job as a Visitor Engagement Officer in my local museum service.  I feel so blessed to have a job where I can share my deep thoughts on art and history.  It's the perfect job for me! So I was most excited to have a chat with Jennie about her work in the current Double Take exhibition.

Upon thinking of the title of the exhibition, I love how it all fits together.  The literal double, as in two artists on show.  Jennie's and Simon Monk.  But both artists have different reasons why you might look, then look again.  I identified more with Jennie's work and this blog will mostly be about my connection and reactions to her work.  But I still appreciated Simon's work.

Simon's 'double take' is the fact his are all trick of the eye pieces that upon first glance, just look like paintings on wooden boards.  But the more you look, the more they reveal an amazing 3D effect.  Some of the pieces you need to stand and wait for you eyes to adjust and then they really pop out of the wood canvases! Such as these 'hold tight' pieces. I haven't taken any pics of Simon's work, but seeing a flat photo on a screen really wouldn't do it any justice anyway! You need to check his work out for yourself! If you're local to Southend then I'd recommend a visit to the Beecroft, the exhibition is still on until 28/5/23! Alternatively, you can check out more on his website here.

After shutting down my Etsy shop and leaving the Indie Roller community of creative indie biz owners, I felt a little lost.  I think as humans, we have an innate desire to belong and be a part of something perhaps, bigger than ourselves.  Being a part of somewhere we can find like minded people and share our thoughts, feelings, ideas around any given subject.  Be it hobbies, faith, intellectual, arts and culture, creativity and so on.  As a highly sensitive person and a deep thinking introvert, I really thrive in an environment where I can share all my inner ramblings, spark discussion and just enjoy everyone's different points of view.  A place to inspire and be inspired, excite and get excited but also find comfort and support for things I may be struggling with.  People I can relate to that get what I'm rambling on about! It's one of the reasons I write this blog.  I often have a lot of thoughts to process and putting it down on here is one of those outlets.  When we find that place of connection within the right community, it can work wonders for our general well being and sense of self.

In my search for a new online community to replace the Indie Roller hole I suddenly found myself with, I stumbled across the Anti-Burnout Club run by Bex Spiller.  It's centred mostly around mindfulness/wellness including things such as Yoga/Pilates, breath work/meditation but also central themes that come in the way of 'challenges' to sign up for.  I joined for the 'Summer of self-confidence' challenge that started this year in 2021.  It's a lovely online community that is full of like-minded people who want to grow and work on themselves using all of the lessons and techniques that are part of the content Bex produces.

It's been so long since I last wrote a blog, I don't know where to start.  Especially since the world has been upside down for the past year or so.  I have had so many emotions throughout this whole Covid 19 pandemic and have wanted to sit down and write a blog about all of it many times.  But, as I think it has been for most through all of this, I've mainly been living in survival mode and collecting my thoughts enough to write some kind of coherent ramblings has obviously proved too much thus far.

One of the biggest themes for me has been about a sense of disconnection.  The lack of physical contact, being shut off from everyone through all the lockdowns and this constant fear of catching/spreading the virus which turns into the biggest anxiety when just being around other people.  It's all been too much.  It really struck me when our Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, revealed the recent 'roadmap' out of restrictions here in the UK.  (It even feels weird stating my country knowing the fact this has affected people globally!).  The last part of unlocking for 21st June that stated 'no legal restrictions on social contact'.  It struck me as such madness that we have been living in a world where it has actually been illegal to simply socialise with other human beings!!

It’s that time of year again! Ihanna’s annual Spring swap! This year marks the 10th anniversary, woo hoo! If you’re not familiar with it, the idea is to make and send 10 diy art postcards. And you’ll get 10 back. This is my 5th year of signing up and I love it! I was a bit sceptical this year what with the fact there is a global pandemic currently devastating the nation. I have a 6 year old and have been somewhat struggling with home schooling. Not to mention going a little mad as a highly sensitive person and not having much quiet time to recharge. So I was a bit worried whether I’d still manage it. But in the end, I couldn’t resist! It’s important now more than ever for me to be getting that creative time and what better excuse than doing the swap! Pandemic or not, I love the fact it forces me to make time to get creative. Having a deadline and knowing people are relying on me to receive a postcard helps keep me accountable. Granted, the postcards have been sent out the latest yet! I’m usually late in sending but this year I think is a record! Well, you know what they say, better late than never right?!

With the recent BBC Two reality show/documentary ‘Who are you calling fat?’ still looming fresh in my mind, being a ‘woman of size’, I have a lot to say about the issues and debates raised in this programme.

The format follows a reality show where nine people living with obesity are placed together to live in a house. All with differing views, it makes great viewing and sparks the debate off nicely.

The two main camps were the body positivity crowd on one side and those on the other who believe in the medical implications and risks of staying obese.

Here in my latest blog I'm going to review an online personal shopper service from Lookiero.  At the end, I'll reveal my special discount code for you to receive 10% off your first experience with them. 

​I can’t actually remember where I first came across it. As with all things internet and social media these days, everything seems to blur into one! We’re bombarded with ads left right and centre. On occasion, I get the odd meaningful one that is relevant. Lookiero was one of these rare finds and I do remember being rather intrigued by this new service.

The process starts by you filling out a multiple choice survey detailing your style preferences, what type of work you do and how much emphasis you want on work or leisure. It was quite in depth with questions on how you like the fit of things to what areas of your body do you want to focus on. There was also a section where you could leave notes about any other relevant information that wasn’t in the multiple choice. For example, as well as maintaining my blog and handmade shop, I work as a nursery practitioner. So my work clothes need to be smart but practical for running around with the little ones. I also wanted to state about my love of colour and print as I wanted to be wowed with the things that bring me the most joy! Below is a prime example of the sort of things you can expect to find in my wardrobe! Pretty floral prints, smart cardigans, flattering skirts, colourful tights (Snag tights are the best!) and comfy Converse.

In my last two blog posts I’ve been touching on my mental health and how it's reached a peak. How, my whole identity was being called into question whilst trying to get an official mental health diagnosis. I wanted to write a proper blog post about it and tell you my thoughts about finding your identity. What does it mean to be you? Do we really need to define ourselves in order to live? Do we need labels or are they useful? I will attempt to answer these through my own experience.

I had a bit of a crisis in my mental health. It’s such a long story but I suffered PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) from May 2016 after a traumatic start to life with our now 5 year old. I was put on anti depressants, Sertraline, because I went to the doctors feeling suicidal. Read more about that here. They helped for a while whilst I was in recovery. I had a year off work to get better. But in the last 6 months I felt the anti-depressants were making me worse.