My Secret Love

It was calling to me. The pull was too hard to resist.
“You deserve this”, my brain said.
“You need this”.
I saw myself as a soap actress. The viewer shouting out at the TV.
“Don’t do it! You’re stronger than this!”.
My self control was shot.
All I could think of was the taste on my tongue.
The receptors in my brain already whizzing around at the anticipated pleasure.
It was no good. I gave in.
I grabbed it off the shelf and walked to the till.
As I paid for my item, words going through my head “why am I doing this?”. The guilt already seeping through.
Home. No one in. The way I like it.
Indulging in secret keeps me in denial.
I open the six pack.
Moans of pleasure escape my mouth as my teeth sink into the creamy, sugary frosting of the cupcake.
It was gone in seconds.
I ate them all.

When you read that, what were your thoughts? I deliberately wanted to write this blog with no giveaways in the title and complete disregard for SEO (search engine optimisation) so you could read my little story with no pre-conceptions.

The above is a true account of how I’ve felt when trying to control my eating habits. I’ve been there, the voices in my head, the battle of self control, the desperation of giving in to eating my feelings.

The question I want to ask is: are we really addicted to food? Or is it just an excuse?

I’ll be exploring this in my next blog. Read it here.

Photo Credits

Cupcake image from www.pexels.com.
Graffiti header image is my own.