After recently giving up work to recover from stress (the battles we went through with my 2 year old) I thought I was on the home run. In my head, my thoughts were 'ooh, say 6 months to recover, then start thinking about returning to work for just a weekend job and I'll be free during the week to finally start this business dream!' Well, turned out I needed to think again!
In my Faith, God has been speaking to me very clearly about a lot of things. I've heard him but have refused to go His way. I have remained obstinate in wanting to control my direction. Knowing that the timing still isn't now it has meant I've been hoarding all my ideas. 'That's MY idea to use to sell for MY profit'.
God gave me a picture of a magpie, guarding a nest full of shiny things. I am that magpie. The shiny things represent my ideas. In this vision, the magpie had to remove the shiny things to make way for his children, reluctantly. The magpie tried to place each shiny piece neatly on the branches surrounding him. But try as he might, they fell to the ground and other magpies stole these pieces away from him. The magpie then resented his children filling his safe place.
Of course, this also means embracing the call upon my life of Motherhood. Let's be realistic and say that, yes, it is rather hard work, this parenting lark. But the pride one feels in seeing their beloved son just flourish, is not to be sniffed at! The precious moments, the silliness, the cheekiness. We can either remember how tough it is or focus on the precious moments. I know which way I need to go now and I still struggle with an innate sense of selfishness! But God is doing a work in me. I can either get a bit uncomfortable at letting things go and enjoy the fruits of obedience. Or stumble and fall in striving to do it my way. God still loves us whatever we choose and will pick us up when we fall. But I just cannot express the sheer force of His favour when we go His way!
2 images to convey this. One is a tug of war. You can pull against God and struggle with it. Then fall when He lets you make mistakes. Or, you can be on His team and let Him fight for you!
Second is using the motion of waves. You can either stand defiant, facing that wave. You think you're in control because you can see it coming. But when it hits you! Ha! You get smacked in the face with it, knocked off your feet and tumble over in the water, losing your balance. But if you face away from the wave, with your back to it, it's a totally different ball game. It parallels the relationship of trust. If you are in tune with the sea, you should be able to feel the rhythm of the waves. Of it building up or ebbing away. And when the wave comes, it actually carries you! Can you see the difference?
I'm no expert life coach or famous Christian preacher which is why I can only share my testimony in the hope it will resonate with you. What I can advise on searching for your purpose is to really get to know you. Think about your gifts and talents, your skills and capabilities. Write a list of all the things you are really good at. Next, think about the things you are really passionate about. The things you do that give you joy. Write a list for that too.
Scroll these two lists and you may find some things cross over. For example, you are passionate about books and feel writing is one of your talents. Or you are passionate about fashion and are good at customising/upcycling your clothes. Or it could be something such as being great at organisation, that it gives you joy to plan/research. Which could lead to applying for a job as an Office Administrator. It doesn't have to be some big business idea, doing this can help you realise your dream job too. You just need to match your skills/gifts/talents with something you are passionate about/gives you joy and ponder on the sort of jobs these might contain. Do some research, have a look what's out there and you will find your perfect fit.
It may be a good idea to think about your values in this too. Is money important to you? Would you feel happier taking a higher paid job you didn't particularly like or feel enthused by? Or one that had a wage that was enough to sustain you, with no extras for luxuries but was something you really enjoyed? Do you want to help people? What do you feel you can give? What do you really desire out of life? What is it that drives you?
Lots to ponder on. Take some time out and think it over. Just don't stress over it. If you are happy where you are, chances are, you've probably already found your purpose. Sometimes we can overthink and I am guilty of this. As they say, if it ain't broken, don't try to fix it! Just be and enjoy each moment as it comes. Would love to hear your thoughts or help you further if you have any more questions. Don't be shy! Get in touch!